Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my friendships and how
over the years they have changed and still are changing. Like most of you, growing up I was always on
the go – friendship was truly the most important priority to me. I saw my
friends daily, had several “best friends” and hung out for hours. This was the
group of people who I confided into, learned from and held to a ridiculous
level of importance. Then, around my early 20’s I started to realize that the
company you keep is a reflection of you. I no longer justified the silly idiotic
behavior of what was acceptable as a teenager. I was in a stage of my life where
my friends didn’t define me. I was maturing into my own person. I started questioning why I was friends with
certain people who maybe didn’t bring positives into my life. Maybe I wasn’t
positive for them. I don’t know, but I did know I was revaluating the people I
called friends. As a kid, making friends seemed as simple has having a favor
color in common! Hence, why, during those formative years many of us overused
the term “best friend,” however, adult friendships are (rightfully so) based on
much more substance.
And, as life moved along, new chapters started leaving some friends to
faded away and some new ones to be made. The ones who stayed around through
these life events provided me with renounced sense of what friendship meant.
Now in my early 30s, I like the rest of my social circle, all have so
many priorities taking our attention, time and energy. I have a calendar
hanging on my fridge reminding me of coffee dates, family parties and events,
ect. At the end of the day, we have spouses/significant
others, children, careers, family ect. We can’t sit on the phone for hours and
chit-chat. We can’t waste the day way. This was hard for me to accept and truthful, I don't think I have fully accepted it. I still feel a mix of guilt and sadness.
Oh, and distance.. it is bittersweet.
Remember when all your friends were pretty much within walking distance. Yeah, me
too. However, life leads people to new locations (and great places to visit!). Heck, my husband is from
Dublin, Ireland. He’s VERY far away from all of his friends. I am in love with
some pretty amazing people that are scattered all around, in wonderful corners
of the world. There are some that are FARRRRR away and some that just take a
bit of effort to get to – me in the city sans car and them in the burbs, but no
matter distance or commonality we remain friends. To this day there are several people who I
can pick up with right where we left off, so effortlessly. I am beyond
appreciative of that. I cherish that when we do get together there is not
even the slightest hint of resentment or weirdness from either one of us. I am humbled by it. I appreciate that I can Facebook and text and
let those people know I’m thinking of them.
I hope it’s never seen as “cheap”, but rather as another way we can stay
connected. It’s important for each of my
friends to feel included and that I care - no matter where they are.
So, where have my thoughts led me? Good question. I’ll note I struggled writing this post
because I had SO many emotions and feelings that I wanted to share that some
never flowed or connected to the next. I’m not sure I’m even content with this
final copy, but I’ll post it. J
For me, I truly believe if you want to be in someone's life you will be and you make the effort and it is reciprocated. I’ll end with a cheesy quote that I found
on the interwebs. After all, this is just my little side project I humor myself
with. Xoxo
